When I first started this blog, I had virtually no idea what I wanted to do with it. Anyone who's read it will know that I still don't. I think I was just shocked to discover that the domain name describing my profession was still unregistered, so I wanted to claim it and put up some flowers. Possibly with the intention of selling it on to Specsavers for a six figure sum.
But having planted a few seeds (mostly daisies), and watched things grow over the past few months, it's been brought to my attention by certain shadowy figures within the NHS (although they're only shadowy because we're trying to save on the lighting bill) that I could be on slightly dodgy ground when it comes to information governance. Apparently if just one 95-year-old diabetic gets herself a computer, manages to find her glasses, and enters 'Retinal Screener' into Google, I could be in trouble.
Fortunately I've completed the NHS 'Handling Complaints Positively' course, which included surprisingly little advice on sulking, and after much thought, I've decided to draw things to a close, in the hope of steering clear of the justice system. Harriet Harman's Court of Public Opinion might let me off, but the Old Bailey won't.
So this will be my last post for the time being. I'd just like to thank all the people who have e-mailed me over the past few months, in particular: the chap who used this site to prepare for an interview (and got the job); the person who told me that if I want to speak at the next BARS conference, I only have to ask (I'm still not sure I believe that); the man who stays in the grading room until 9pm to read this stuff; the people who claim they've fallen off chairs laughing at it; and above all, the lady who told me that her friend thought she was a rectal screener. Your compliments have been greatly appreciated. Maybe we should all start using the BARS Forum now.
I'd just like to finish this blog in the same way I started it: by saying that I love my job, the people I work with, and even most of the patients. I've only ever trodden on one person's toes (and he had neuropathy, so he didn't notice), but that's one person too many, and it was never my intention to risk making anyone feel uncomfortable. So I'll stop before I do.
But in the meantime, join me over at my new site - www.RetinalScreeningDiploma.com - where I'll be posting the answers to all nine City & Guilds units.
(Just kidding).
RS
I don’t know who came up with the idea of February, but frankly they deserve to be fired. It’s not the month I object to, it’s the fact that it’s exactly four weeks long. It means the days of the week are the same as for March. And that means all my patients turn up a month early.
I had an 84-year-old lady this afternoon who sat outside in the waiting room for almost an hour before complaining that she hadn’t been called. Having checked her appointment letter, I had to break the news to her that she was unlikely to be called for another four weeks. Needless to say I added her to my list and screened her anyway, so ultimately there was no harm done, but on top of giving me extra work, it caused a lot of embarrassment for the lady when she realised her mistake (she turned redder than a retinal haemorrhage), and that was in addition to her being kept waiting for an hour.
As for the chap I saw yesterday, let’s just say he had form. I was barely an hour into the new working month, when he turned up insisting that he had an appointment for 10:20 that morning. Needless to say he hadn’t bothered to bring his appointment letter, but that didn’t stop him being adamant that he was there on the right day. It’s always the ones with no proof who are the most confident of being right.
Anyway, the moment he complained about the short notice of his appointment, it was pretty obvious what had happened. And sure enough, a quick check on the computer told me that he’d arrived a month early. But as they used to say on all good 70s cop shows, the man had previous. When I got him back in for the photos, he admitted to me that he’d done it before, “only worse”. When I questioned how much worse you can get than arriving four weeks early for your retinal screening, he said “I once turned up for a hospital appointment in the wrong year”.
I admitted that was slightly worse.
